Every now and then I come across some amusing commentary about the publishing industry. A short while ago, I encountered what is probably the most amusing satirical Twitter account around (much better than the fake Mao and Hu Jintao that used to be around). Fake AP Stylebook (@FakeAPStylebook) writes some rather ridiculous advice about AP style, none of which will ever be found in a real stylebook.

While it is probably more amusing for editors and journalists, it may also be fun for other writers. It will certainly provide a bit of entertainment and possibly a little creative spark for those in need of a humorous idea for a story or poem.

A sampling of the Fake AP Stylebook:

“Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair should be referred to as ‘he’ despite being a hermaphroditic alien reptoid.”

“Infinitives may be split only after extensive counseling and a trial separation.”

“U.S. Constitution – Formerly the nation’s founding document, now refers to whatever you want it to be.”

“There is no term for a person who likes beets. (See: bicycle for a fish)”

“The rules for numbers below ten do not apply to 6. He is not a number, he is a free man.”

Xujun Eberlein brought a new piece of Mandarin slang to my attention in a post on her blog. 最牛 is used as an adjective that doesn’t seem to have an equivalent in English–Xujun does a great job of trying to explain it uses and potential meanings. 牛 is cow, and can be used as an adjective to describe someone as being good in some way. 最牛, therefore would translate to “most cow.” Though, it seems that the term is being used in a semi-sarcastic sense.

Anyway, 最牛 is a fun new word for those of us still learning Chinese. We’re open to your translations of this word. And we’re also open to any submissions of poetry or prose that somehow incorporate this Chinese word or translation (literal or otherwise).

While you go off and debate it meaning and use, we’ll coin a new English word from this: cowiest. Example: Bill was the cowiest executive at the bank, and was the first to be laid off.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled literary journal for a special announcement…

看看！太阳！The sun has come out! There’s blue sky and big bright thing up there warming the air. (In case you’re wondering, it’s been raining for the last two months.)

This is the perfect opportunity to recharge those batteries by going outside and soaking up some vitamin D. Writers, we urge you to get a little sun. Take your laptop and/or notebook and sit outside at a coffee shop or park. Or better yet, go for a hike. You’ll feel better and probably work more efficiently for the next while (unless you take a difficult hike and get exhausted and decide to pass out upon returning home).

This special announcement is brought to you by the weather forecasters that said it would rain today.